


On how to find your way home

by IpswichMyrtle



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Imprinting, Imprinting (Twilight)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26498125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IpswichMyrtle/pseuds/IpswichMyrtle
Summary: It's been three years since that night and Cordelia still remembers the excruciating pain she suffered for months. She is sure that going back to her native land, La Push, and being with her family will make her feel better, will fill the void in her chest. Little does she know that she was sharing that same void with a sandy wolf, who was waiting for her without even knowing.
Relationships: Jacob Black/Renesmee Cullen, Leah Clearwater/Original Male Character(s), Seth Clearwater & Original Female Character(s), Seth Clearwater/Original Character(s), Seth Clearwater/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 29





	1. Prologue

#  _On how to find your way home_

### Prologue

“Hello?”  
I could recognize this voice among billions. Today marks exactly 9 years since my mother and I were forced to leave our beloved and rainy home; since he forced us to leave those woods I loved so much, those beaches I adored to walk on with my grandpa.  
“Uhm… Hi, it’s me, Cordelia”.  
A few seconds of silence pass; I hear a low sigh.  
“Hi Cordelia, what can I do for you?”  
_Nothing_. I am tempted to say. _Because since I was born you have been doing absolutely nothing for me. Like I am nothing for you. As you indirectly said multiple times to mom and everyone else in the Reservation._  
“I just called to inform you that in six months I will come back home”.  
All I hear is silence, again, as always.  
“Why?”  
“Because I _need_ to”. I try to emphasize the word “need” as much as possible.  
“Why would a 17-years old girl who lives in New York come back to live in a reservation forgotten by the gods themselves?”  
“Because I need to”. I repeat with a cold tone. “And…” I continue. “I just wanted to say that I won’t create you or your new wife and son any problem at all”. I shouldn’t even say such things. I shouldn’t apologize for coming back home, _my home_. I belong there as much as him, maybe even more.  
“Six months, you said?”  
_Seriously, Archibald, all you can say is this?_  
“Yes. More precisely early August, so I can immediately start my Senior year at the Tribal School”.  
All I can hear is an annoyed snort.  
“So, I think we will see each other in six months. Have a nice day Cordelia”.  
5 minutes and 56 seconds, that’s the length of this phone call with my father. 5 miserable minutes after 9 years of no speaking, no postcards, no calls on my birthday. After all this time he is still the same; after all this time he doesn’t even ask me how I am.

 _Nothing_.

I mean nothing for him.  
And it’s a burden I will always carry with me, weighing so heavy on my shoulders that sometimes I think it will bury me underground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> It's been a long time since I haven't posted a new chapter or a new story. Years. But now, here I am.  
> For 2 or 3 months, I have been re-reading and re-watching the entire Twilight series and I have also bought Midnight Sun... so I am back to 2011 and I am fully re-living my twilight phase.  
> But there are things that never change, like my faithful love for the Quileutes and Seth Clearwater.  
> So, here we are.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this brief prologue; more chapters will come in the next weeks or months.
> 
> Have a nice day!
> 
> Ipswich


	2. ONE

###  **ONE**

_“Good evening passengers. This is your captain speaking. First, I'd like to welcome everyone on the Flight 86A from New York to Seattle. We are currently cruising at an altitude of 33,000 feet at an airspeed of 400 miles per hour. The weather looks good and with the tailwind on our side, we are expecting to land in Seattle approximately at 6 AM. I'll talk to you again before we reach our destination. Until then, sit back, relax, and enjoy the rest of the flight."_

I don't even listen to the captain's speech, too focused on opening my sketchbook, taking out my colored pencils from my light blue backpack. I _feel_ the urge to draw, as it has been happening for years. I start drawing some lines, with a light brown color, almost a sand-ish color, and all of a sudden, these lines become eyes, big languid eyes, surrounded by a silky and fluffy fur. And from these eyes, that for years have hunted me and my worst nightmares, other lines depart, and I found myself drawing a wolf muzzle. It is always the same wolf, same color, same deep eyes that seem to dig deep into my soul and shatter me from the inside.

Looking at _my_ wolf, as I call him, having grown so familiar with him after all these years, a chill seizes me. Something is wrong with me, I can feel it in my veins, in my blood. My body is frenetic, electric, I feel again the urge to draw; and this time I find myself defining the lines of a lake, surrounded by dark green trees. My right-hand moves faster on the sketchbook, my eyes immediately close and I can feel myself near that lake.

 _I am there_ , sitting on the shore.

I can see my legs… smaller, moving into the water.

> _“Come in, Cordelia!”_
> 
> _A man with russet skin and the sweetest brown eyes smiles at me, raising his arms from the shiny translucent water of the lake and moving them to make me see him._
> 
> _The sun is hidden beyond a grey veil of storm clouds and a light breeze moves my long, thick black hair. I can hear other people laughing, having fun swimming in the lake. I can recognize some of those voices… they seem so familiar._
> 
> _The same man that called me a few minutes back reaches the shore and sits next to me._
> 
> _“My dear…” he caresses my hair._
> 
> _I look at him, smiling._
> 
> _“Since when you’re afraid of the water, little mermaid?” he asks me, his hand now caressing my cheek and a lovely smile appearing on his face,_ a smile I knew I could never forget.

I can feel the touch of his warm hand on my cheek, but it’s just a brief moment. It disappears in seconds. Suddenly, mixed feelings of nostalgia, happiness, and warmth overwhelm me. I haven’t felt this way since… I don’t even remember. My head becomes lighter and I surrender to that memory, letting go of my pencils. I lean back, sighing in awe, and a bittersweet smile appears on my face. I have always liked to be able to remember such happy moments of my childhood before everything changed, before I changed… for good.

But these same memories, that always seem so vivid and real, have the power to destroy me, to break me into tiny little pieces, impossible to recollect. There is something in these memories of mine, something that keeps haunting me, calling me. I always feel like they are hiding an important message, one I cannot read.

And every time I find myself so shattered, all I can do is thinking of how things would have been if mom and I had never left… How my life could have been if I had been there during the “accident”.

***

I stretch my arms and hands as I am walking towards the baggage reclaim area, seven hours of flight meant seven hours of drawing like a _psychopath_ , and my hands are burning. My sketchbook is now full, but I knew it could have happened, that’s why I have backups with me.

Once collected my two too-much-huge suitcases, I walk to the first Starbucks I can find at the Seattle airport. All I can think about is coffee, I need one, the strongest one and I need to call mom too or her rage will travel through the States and hit me directly on the face. No one can mess with Emmie Black, especially me, her only daughter.

I dial her number, knowing that she must have spent the entire night awake, praying our gods that I was safe during my travel.

“FINALLY, YOU CALLED!”

_I swear, this woman can reach notes that Ariana Grande can only dream about._

“How was the travel? Are you ok? Did they feed you?” It’s even useless to mention all the other hundred questions she is asking in less than a minute.

_When will she stop being an overprotective mother?_

_Never._

I sigh, giggling.

“Mom, I am fine and yes, they fed me… I guess. A glass of orange juice is still something for a cheap flight”. I answer, taking a sip of coffee.

“Did you call Billy?”

“No, mom. It’s too early in the morning, I don’t want to bother him. I am going to take a taxi or rent a car”. Another sigh, but this time is from her.

“I told you to call him, he was ecstatic when I told him that you were going home, and he offered to give you a ride.” She says resigned.

“I won't wake him up at 6 a.m. mom! Nor him, or Jacob or Rachel… end of the story!” I reply with too much sarcasm in my voice, rolling my eyes.

“Manners, young lady, it’s your mother you’re talking to”.

"Forgive me, mother dear, for I was pusillanimous". I say teasing her, knowing that if she was with me, she would have hit me on the back of the head for my tone.

“Just call me again when you arrive in La Push, baby. Grandpa’s house is still at the same place, you should remember the street”. Her tone is now sweet and lovely and worried, I can feel her concern from here. Although she agreed to let me come back, she is still worried about how the forced coexistence of me and my father in the same little reservation could go. And although I told her that nothing would change and he would not speak to me, not once, she keeps being super worried. _Mother's sixth sense, you know._

“Yes, I’m going to call you from the house. Now back to sleep, Mrs. It’s Sunday and I am sure your toy boy of a husband is waiting for you”. I tease her again, making her laugh. I love hearing her laughing so joyfully, she deserves to be this happy.

 _I don’t_ but she does.

“Alright, I’ll catch you later. Bye baby, love you!”

“Love you too, bye!” 

####  **Seth’s POV**

“Could you please explain to me why on Earth you always chose me for patrolling on Saturday nights? You know that there are other people in the pack, right? RIGHT?!”

I am almost screaming in rage. I wanted to sleep and not spending my Saturday night- AGAIN - patrolling the reservation borders.

“Come on man, you were the only one free… we were busy”. Paul replies, stuffing his mouth with chocolate chips pancakes and looking at me with malice in his eyes.

I growl, fully understanding what that “busy” means. And I shiver in disgust. I already have to handle with his thoughts about a completely naked and sweaty Rachel every time he phases, I just don’t want to think about it… _guess I am thinking about it now_.

“I am sorry Seth, next Saturday it’s on Colin and Embry”. Replies a very tired Sam.

_Tu quoque, Sam?!_

“I swear, all this pack can think about is sex. Could you please stop for a day?” I continue, sitting at the table and overloading my plate with classic pancakes.

_Chocolate chips… ewh!_

“I am waiting for the moment you find your imprint, Seth, and finally start having a huge amount of good sex. On that day, you will understa-”. That is Jared speaking with a stupid smirk on his face, a Jared that cannot even finish his sentence because Kim suddenly hits him on the back of his head.

"Leave him alone and finish eating, you pig". She says trying hard to seem annoyed, but she cannot be… you know, because of the imprint thing that makes you and your imprintee really really happy every fucking single time. 

I wink at her, mouthing “thanks”.

During these five years, I have made my peace with the fact that maybe the Clearwater’s were destined to not found their true soulmates. Leah has not yet imprinted, so haven’t I. Sometimes I think that maybe it’s the “Clearwater’s curse", you know. Sam leaves Leah for Emily, Dad dies when Leah and I first phase, leaving us poor as hell (as everyone in this reservation is), then almost everyone in the pack imprints on someone human or **not** human, but _we don’t_ , neither after 5 years.

Maybe we don’t deserve it, or better… Leah deserves it, _I don’t_. Maybe I am not soulmates material.

Leah looks at me, concerned as always, knowing exactly what I am thinking. She smiles, and I smile with her. At least I have mom and her, who I love more than words can describe.

Besides, we are practically immortal, so maybe our imprints are not even born yet.

 _Creepy_.

Fortunately enough, my sad thoughts are interrupted by a very energetic and enthusiastic Billy who arrives at Emily’s and Sam’s for the usual “Sunday Pack Breakfast”, followed by the not-naked and not-sweaty Rachel. 

“Hey, dad! Why so happy? Did we become rich over the night?” Jake asks while holding tight a now 15-years-old Nessie. She keeps growing so fast, it’s starting to become scary.

“No, better!” He replies smiling more. “Your cousin is finally coming back home, I think she is already here, at old Grandpa’s house”. He continues, drinking the coffee Rachel gave him a few moments back.

No one talks for a good minute.

“My what?!” Jake asks astonished, with his mouth opened.

“Our cousin, Jake. Dad has a sister that was once married and has a daughter. I used to babysit her, and we always spent the summer together with grandpa at the lake. Don’t you remember?” Rachel explains.

“Why didn’t we know anything about her?” I ask, chewing my second serving of pancakes.

Rachel and Billy look at each other, their smiles disappearing from their faces.

“It’s a long story, not ours to tell. But she is here, finally. Where she belongs”.

Billy’s words are serious, and I am not the only one who has noticed the change in his tone and the rage with which he is looking at Embry, who seems not be interested at all in this new arrival and keeps looking at his consumed shoes with a strange expression painted on his face. 

After a few minutes of silence, Billy becomes friendly again and starts looking at each and every one of us.

“And now that she is here, _I suggest_ you be nice to her and help her in any case. Clear?"

This sounds more like a threat than a suggestion, but no one will ever question Billy’s words. His wishes are our commands, and neither Sam nor Jake could escape his orders, especially when he is angry, so practically half of the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> First of all, I wanted to thank you for the reviews and also thank those who added this story to their favorites.
> 
> I have just finished writing this chapter and although I re-read it a few times I still think there are some mistakes that I couldn't see. If you find them, please inform me.
> 
> I don't even know why I am writing this story in English, considering that I am Italian, but I am starting to get used to this. Even though I graduated in Foreign Languages and I have been studying English since I was 14, it's very difficult to write stories like this in another language. Words keep coming to my mind in Italian and I am using every single dictionary I can find on the web to find the perfect English words.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did.
> 
> Have a nice day!
> 
> Ipswich


	3. TWO

**For a better experience, read Cordelia’s POV listening to this:** [Hurricane – Fleurie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZcf3oXfz5k&ab_channel=Fleurie).

###  **TWO**

Phasing has always been more of a gift for me rather than a curse, as any other member of the pack considers it to be. Being able to shift into a horse-size wolf and living the nature with a freedom no human can ever experience is a blessing. I have this strange feeling of liberation when I merge with my wolf spirit, I feel more myself than in human form, and every time I am upset or I need to find my inner balance, he is there for me. My wolf helped me when my father passed away, when I couldn’t pass the entrance test for Med school in Seattle, and he is helping me now not to think about the fact that I will never meet the love of my (eternal) life. _Well, almost helping right now_.

_“Kid, you should stop being so blue. You are still young and have all the life ahead of you! Come on! Where is the always positive and smiling kid we all know you are?”_

_“Dead, Jared, like my expectation for a romantic relationship in the near future.”_ I answer, knowing exactly that I will receive a fist right in the face for being too sad if I don’t stop right now.

I hear an annoyed whine from the dark grey wolf.

The both of us phase back and get dressed before entering Emily’s and Sam’s house, where we find a laughing Claire and a tired Sam, who seems to be forced to sit on the floor and have tea with a unicorn, a teddy bear, and a stuffed wolf, whose fur is dark chocolate as Quil’s.

As always, the dining table is full of food. Poor Emily, forced to feed a bunch of overly muscled grown childish wolves. But if you ask her, she says that she is happy to take care of all of us.

_Liar!_

“Jared, could you please entertain Claire so Seth and Sam can set the backyard for tonight’s party?” She asks sweetly.

“Party?”, Jared and I both ask at the same time.

“Yes, it’s the last day of the holidays and Billy wanted to introduce us to his niece. Remember?” She goes on while stirring her famous Mexican chili.

“Yes, _totally_ …” I reply trying to cover the fact that I, and also Jared, completely forgot about it.

“How the hell could you two forget?! I reminded you of tonight every single day, for an entire week!” Sam shouts, signing me to follow him in the backyard.

I just snort in reply, miming an “I dunno”. This week has been absolute _hell_ , I have had so many online classes that I completely forgot about everything else. How could I remember that we were throwing a party if I even forgot to patrol?

***

#### Cordelia’s POV

It has been a _hell_ of a week. A couple of nights ago, I had a complete mental breakdown, and for a brief moment, I thought about going back to New York. Grandpa’s house needed more work than I could have ever imagined. No one has been living here since Grandpa and Grandma passed away, so when I arrived, everything was either covered in multiples inches of dust or consumed by time.

I spent days cleaning and trying to fix the few things I could fix. Being a 17 years old spoiled brat who doesn’t even know how to change a lightbulb was not helpful at all and, at some point, I had to reach for help. I asked Billy - who asked Jacob and some of his friends, of course.

Calling my father was not an option.

So, by the end of the week, I had my new house completely fixed. The rooftop didn’t leak anymore, the floors were brand new, the walls were redecorated, and the furniture… well, it took me all my knowledge from the tv programs about house renovation and redecoration I watched in New York to fix, scratch, screw and repaint everything.

At least now it does not seem like a haunted house anymore.

The worst part of all this? The memories.

One of the reasons I have tried to renovate all the furniture and don’t throw it away is the fact that everything reminds me of my family back in the days when we were happy. All the time spent in the kitchen with Grandma, trying to help her cooking; all the days spent curled up on Grandpa’s lap while he was sitting on his yellow armchair, near the small library, watching the pouring rain falling on the deep dark green trees surrounding the little house. I remember the Christmas nights, the smell of freshly-cooked gingerbread cookies, the small Christmas tree under which I used to sit with Jake, Rachel and Rebecca, and all our cousins; the summer nights, when we used to come back from the lake, all tired and still wet from swimming all day. I remember Grandma walking towards us with her homemade lemonade and lemon tarts, which I still can’t emulate despite having inherited her cookbook with all the old family’s recipes.

Useless to say: I have spent all my nights crying, curled up in a fetal position on the master bedroom’s bed.

Because of my father's stubbornness and unjustified hate towards me and my mom, we were forced to leave La Push when I was 8 years old, and from that moment I didn’t see my family so much. My mother managed to find a job only in New York, and we were too poor to travel back and forth from and to La Push. I couldn’t live the last years of my Grandparents’ lives with them, but I called them every single day. I have spent so much time on the phone with them, sometimes sacrificing my social life and homework, but I didn’t care. And when one night, mom came into my room and told me they were gone, I couldn’t believe her. I spoke with them on the phone just a few hours back and neither in my worst nightmares could I have ever imagined that that would have been the last time. I still miss them. A huge part of me disappeared with them that day, and while still in tears, I made a promise to my beloved grandparents and our Gods: one day, I would come back home to the land I belonged, and I would live a happy life where I was supposed to have had one since I was born. And as I was closing my eyes, exhausted from crying all night, I made a second promise, this time to myself only: to not forgive him, for all the pain I was going through was _his_ fault.

Three years ago, the night my grandparents died together in their sleep was the same night of my “accident” and since then my life completely changed, _I_ completely changed. Little did I knew that moving back to La Push would have been the worst but the best choice of my life.

The ringing of my home phone wakes me up with a start, I look around and I am still in the bathtub, hair not washed yet, and the clock that’s ticking 5 p.m.

I quickly get out of the tub, grabbing a towel and wrapping myself in it. I try to run as fast as I can to the phone in the kitchen, thanking the Gods that the house is small and has just one floor.

“Hi, Cordelia speaking!”

“Hey, it’s me, Uncle Billy. I just called to remind you that Jake and Rachel are going to pick you up at 6:00. Is it ok for you?”

“Yes! Yes… Sure! Perfectly fine!” I answer with a squeaky voice, knowing that I will never be ready for that time.

“You’re late, aren’t ya?” Uncle Billy laughs heartily. “Like mother, like daughter”.

“Yeah… Among all the things I could inherit form her, being always late is what I got. But I’ll be ready, Uncle Billy.”

“Oh well, I hope so, otherwise you’ll stay home, kid! See you later!” He hangs up before I can say something else. Same old Uncle Billy.

I slightly shake my head while grinning, and I jog into the bathroom to finish preparing myself hopefully on time.

A triple knock on the door wakes me up from my daydreaming – for the hundredth time – and while I finish putting on my gold circle earrings, I rush to open the door, to find a beautiful Rachel waiting on the porch.

She looks at me with wide eyes, and a warm and sweet smile starts appearing on her face. We haven’t seen each other since I moved.

“Oh, Cordelia!” I hear her say in a whisper while she rushes towards the door and hugs me tight. “Hi Rachel!”, I reply returning the hug. I immediately get carried back in time: we used to see each other every day when she would come to my old house and babysit me while mom was working. She has always acted so maternal with me, maybe because she knew that what was happening between mom and Archibald was hurting me – almost traumatizing me.

“Look at you, all grown up! And you are so beautiful, you look like your mom!” She says, gently taking my hands and taking a few steps back to have a full view of my figure. I do the same. Although we have spent so many years apart and time obviously has passed, she still looks the same. She is absolutely stunning, with her long, thick, black hair pulled into a fishtail braid, only a few strands of hair falling and framing her heart-shaped face. Her eyes are as I remembered: full of life, almost electric. Rachel was a hurricane when we were younger, and something tells me that she has not changed at all.

“Not as beautiful as you. Look at your dress, it suits you so well!” And it is true. She is wearing one of those [girly chiffon dresses](https://www.pinterest.it/pin/335588609737216598/?nic_v2=1a4rFKLEJ) tight at the waist, barely covering her knee, with an off-the-shoulder top ruffled all along the collarbone, colored of a dark and warm yellow that enhances her russet skin.

A honk suddenly comes from the still-running-car in the street.

Rachel snorts and turns, facing the car. “You know how rude you’re acting right, Jake!?” She almost screams, having in reply just another honk, this time longer.

I grin at the sight of the little scene.

“Let’s go, otherwise I have to commit a fratricide”, Rachel continues rolling her eyes, and she starts walking towards the car.

I nod, running inside, turning off all the lights, and finally getting in the car.

“Hi, Jake, long time no see!”, I tease him, snickering, knowing that we have been seeing each other every day for this entire week. He, Colin – who I discovered is my cousin – Brady, and Paul were in charge of fixing all the things I wasn’t able to take care of, and every day they tried to convince me that the house was so messed up that it would have been easier to take it down and rebuild it again.

“Hi Cordelia, house still up I see. Congrats!” he replies, speeding up towards our destination.

During this week, Jacob and I had the time to reconnect with each other. He didn’t even remember me, nor he knew what had happened. We were not so close when we were children, he used to play always with his friends. He knew I existed and that of course his father had one sister who lived in another State, but that’s all. I have told him just the minimum amount of things, so he could connect the dots. I avoided all the details, which were known only by Uncle Billy, Rachel and her twin Rebecca, and our grandparents.

After a quick car ride, full of laughs, we arrive at a two-story characteristic La Push house, all built in dark wood. From the sliding front door, made of clear glass, I can see that many people are already inside, laughing and enjoying themselves.

I start to feel nervous. I don’t know how many people in the Rez are aware of what happened to me and mom, and I surely don’t want to explain anything to anyone. Moreover, my guts are telling me that something is going to happen. _Something bad_ , I guess hopelessly.

Jake and Rachel get quickly out of the car. I take advantage of these few seconds alone to take a deep breath, maybe two, and blocking my shaking hands. Why am I so nervous? I have been dreaming about this day for nine years.

_What if they don’t want me here? What if I don’t fit in? What if I have to go back to New York for some strange reason? What if they hate me because of what happened?_

A knock on the windows awakens me from my negative and oppressive thoughts.

I hurry outside the car, hiding my shaking hands behind my back. My heart suddenly starts racing and I can feel my throat becoming sore.

Jake and Rachel open the front door, letting me enter first. I try to hide what is becoming a real panic attack. I feel my cheeks becoming warmer and warmer and I hope no one is watching.

“Hi! We brought a guest!” They say in unison, making everyone in the room staring at the three of us.

I gulp, trying to smile naturally and not resemble a psycho.

I wave to everyone present in the room, noticing that other people are coming from the backyard. I can tell my cheeks are burning, so they all can see that I am blushing, or better on fire.

“Everyone, this is Cordelia. Cordelia, this is… well, a huge and chaotic family”. Says Jacob, introducing me and gently pushing me away from the front door, towards the crowd.

All the guests wave to me or greet me and they start coming near me to introduce themselves.

“Hi Cordelia, it’s so nice to finally meet you. Billy couldn’t speak about anything else but you in the last month. I am Sam Uley, and this is my wife Emily.” A man with copper skin and cropped black hair, fully native and _full of muscles_ introduces himself and his wife, whose gracious face is half covered in deep scars. Still, she is absolutely gorgeous, she’s almost glowing. Both of them gently smile at me.

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet both of you!” I reply, with a similar smile. After them, everyone starts introducing themselves. I find myself surrounded by smiles and kind eyes. They were all so welcoming and, as Jacob said a few minutes later, really chaotic.

While introducing me to other people, Billy takes me to the backyard, where more other people were waiting for their turn to see _the freak from New York_.

I can see a forty years old woman with full native traits, like Billy’s, and dark brown eyes approaching me. She stretches out a hand, covered in many ethnic rings.

“Hi, I am Sue Clearwater, and these are my daughter Leah and my son Seth!” She kindly greets me while shaking my hand and getting near me to give me a slight and kind hug.

Next to her, the other two very-tall figures are standing.

“Hi, I’m Leah, nice to meet you”. The girl says. She looks exactly like Rachel and – what is her name? Oh right! – Emily and she is as gorgeous as them. Her short hair framing her diamond shape face makes her beautiful like a model from those fancy fashion magazines.

“Nice to meet you!” I reply, looking in her eyes and smiling again.

“And I am Seth, I was really curious to know you!” The boy says in a husky voice, chuckling, making me giggle and forcing me to take my eyes from his sister and looking at him.

The very moment our eyes meet, something inside me changes, I can literally feel a click in my stomach. It’s a feeling I can hardly describe with words. Those eyes remind me of something I have already seen, they are so dark, so deep and it seems like they are fathoming every inch of my soul. I can’t take my eyes off him, I keep staring at him, scared by these sudden emotions, but at the same time ecstatic, like I am looking at something I was searching for my entire life. I feel like hundreds, millions of steel strings are tying me to him, to those eyes in which I want to be lost forever. I blush, immediately, and my heart starts racing so quickly I think I am going to faint in front of him.

All the bad feelings that were hunting me few seconds before completely disappeared, they vanished like the void I have always felt in my chest for 9 years, and all I want to do now is _never_ leave is side. _I feel home_. That is all I can think.

I look in his eyes, and I feel home. I keep wondering where I have seen them, they look familiar.

“Hi… I’m-I’m sorry…” I bubble, holding the hand he had previously stretched out for me and gently shaking it. It was warm, almost burning, but I found it comforting.

“Uhm…Ha-Have we ever met before?” I say in a low and soft voice. I don’t want all the others to hear, I feel like this should be an intimate moment between me and this gangly boy who makes me strangely feel so alive and so in peace with the universe.

He keeps staring at me, with his wide and liquid dark brown eyes. On his face I can read the same emotions I am feeling right now, or better I know that he feels exactly what I am feeling and vice versa. I feel connected to him physically and emotionally, and I find myself depending on his words or actions. I am waiting for him, to speak, to move. I suddenly want to hear his voice again.

After a few other moments of silence, he smiles at me, a loving and precious smile that makes my heart skip a beat.

All I want is him, all I can think about is him.

In less than a second, Seth Clearwater has become my everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally met! Hurray!  
> I spent all day writing the last part of this chapter and I almost cried. I had many problems writing about the imprinting, I deleted that part so many times I cannot count. I just wanted to describe it in the perfect way, because I always liked the idea of being able to find your soulmate just looking at her/him in the eyes (what a pity it does not exists though, real life is sooo much different and lame). Moreover, I don’t know how someone could actually feel in a moment like that. 
> 
> I’d really appreciate it if you could tell me how you found this chapter, it is longer than the previous one and I know that I need to get better with my storytelling in English. Also, I am uploading it without proofreading it, so If you find some mistakes do not hesitate to highlight them. 
> 
> A couple of notes before disappearing:  
> \- in the first chapter I changed Cordelia’s mother's name, because I studied the genealogic tree of the Black family, and I wanted the story to be as much realistic as possible. So now she as the name of one of the real sisters of Billy Black: “Emmie” Black. 
> 
> \- dialogues in italics and between quotation marks are mental dialogues between the member of the pack, when they are in wolf form. 
> 
> \- the little words or phrases in italic, usually are the characters’ thoughts or just words that I want to emphasize, but from the context, you can easily understand what is what. 
> 
> Well… I really hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> I hope to see you soon. 
> 
> Have a nice day! 
> 
> Ipswich


	4. THREE

###  **THREE**

I am still waiting for his response, for an action. I am still holding his hand, incapable of letting it go. He is still looking at me in a strange way, like he is in awe. I can easily see different emotions painting his face and lighting his eyes: uncertainty, wonder, astonishment, fear, happiness and finally awareness. He looks at me like he has finally found something he was searching for a long time, something that he thought he couldn't find.

How do I know this? Well, his eyes are literally screaming right now. This boy I met ten seconds ago is like an open book for me, and maybe I am the same for him.

"I – I don't think we ever met before. I am sorry". He finally speaks, and his husky voice sounds like a melody to my ears.

He gulps and clears his throat, letting go of my hand, which falls without life down to my hips. I see him lowering his head and scratching the back of his neck. A sweet smile never leaving his handsome face. He shakes his head like he is trying to wake up from a dream. I think I should do the same because I know that everyone is watching right now, and I really look like _the_ _freak from New York_.

I suddenly wake up from that strange warm sensation Seth was making me feel.

"No, _I am_ sorry. You… you really look like someone I know from New York".

_Seriously? Is this the only lie I can tell?_

I try to apologize, taking a step back. Being near him makes me feel light-headed and I have already made a fool of myself, I don't want any other problem.

"Cordelia, why don't you come with me to take something to drink, mh?" I hear Rachel's voice and before I can say no, she takes my hand – the same Seth touched – and takes me near a table full of food and beverages. I immediately take my hand out of hers, to avoid losing the feeling of the gangly boy's warm and comfortable touch.

Now I am absolutely sure that everyone was watching that little pathetic scene, I can see their eyes on me and Seth. Guilt and embarrassment are taking control of my body, my anxiety is crippling, my hands start shaking again. I look around feeling like a criminal, avoiding every eye contact.

One I presume is Seth's friend approaches him and, with a smirk on his face, puts a long and muscled arm around Seth's big shoulders and whispers something to his ear.

He smiles again, lowering his head like he is trying to hide some kind of emotion and again my heart skips a beat.

Rachel is still talking to me. Of course, I am not listening, all my attention is focused on Seth, now surrounded by more friends, all whispering together and sometimes looking at me.

I know I look like an idiot to their eyes, If I could see myself in this exact moment, I would think I am an idiot too, but I seriously cannot care about _anything_ that is not him.

"Your favourite, lemonade!" Rachel's voice awakes me again from my trance and I see her handing me a glass. Seriously, I need to pull it together, I am here to reconnect with my family and not to drool for a boy I have just met.

"Thank you, Rachel". I whisper, smiling at her and taking the glass. She looks at me almost in a comprehensive way, acting like what just happened is not new for her, like it happened many times before. She puts a hand behind my back and starts rubbing it, looking tenderly at me. She does not intend to leave my side, for now, maybe knowing how much I am uncomfortable at the moment.

"Hi! Cordelia, right?! I am Monica, but you can call me Niki!" I hear a muffled voice coming from the side opposite to where Rachel is. I turn my head and I look at the girl speaking, she waves at me.

Born and raised in La Push, high cheekbones, short straight brown hair, seems like a goddess as every other girl from this Reservation except for me. Her body wrapped in short jeans and a green blouse. She is fit, like Leah, her muscles slightly showing. I smile at her, understanding that she is here to try to save me from the embarrassment.

"Hi! Nice to meet you, Niki!" I shake her hand, noticing that it's warm like many other hands I have shaken this evening. Suddenly, I can hear thunderous laughter coming from the boys surrounding Seth. He is laughing too, and I feel a pull in my stomach ordering me to look at him. Our eyes meet and that warm and feverish feeling which overwhelmed me moments before comes back, hitting me like a wave. He smiles at me, his deep brown eyes never leaving mine. Every inch of my body is imploring me to move and go to him. I swallow, clenching my fists. My entire body stiffens and Rachel, whose hand is still on my back, notice it.

"Don't care about them, they are all grown-ups but still act like children." This time is Leah talking. I haven't even noticed that she has got closer to us. She looks at her brother and then at me, happily smiling.

Other screams and laughter coming from the boys make the girls shaking their heads and rolling their eyes. "Why on Earth am I engaged to one of them?" Rachel asks Leah, grinning like there is a hidden joke going on, one I cannot catch. "You're old and desperate maybe?" She replies, smiling slyly. I look at them, my eyebrows frowning.

"Come on, Kid. Forget everything and have fun. You're finally home with us again".

Uncle Billy moves near us and takes my hand, leading me I don't know where. I mentally thank him; I really need to distract myself from obsessively thinking about that Clearwater guy.

_No, but seriously, what's wrong with me? I have never been attracted so much by someone before._

####  **Seth's POV**

"Now you can finally stop whining about it, man! You imprinted!" Quil puts an arm around me and squeezes me, laughing. All the guys start surrounding me, greeting me and jokingly punching me but the only thing I can think about is that I imprinted.

_I finally fucking imprinted._

I still cannot believe it. After all these years it seemed impossible, and then all I needed was to wait for Jake's cousin to come back home. And she is also a Quileute girl, like I have always desired, _the most beautiful in the entire Reservation_. She is absolutely stunning in her boho white dress, and I cannot stop looking at her like the creepiest loser.

What I felt the moment our eyes met is still impossible to describe. All I see is her, all I want is her. I feel my wolf growling inside me, and my wildest and most animal instincts are kicking in. I need to _protect_ her, to keep her safe and warm. _I need to have her_.

I have felt imprint before, thanks to the fact that my brothers and I can read and feel each other's thoughts but feeling it in first person is completely different. It's like my entire world orbits and gravitates around her and solely her. She is my sun, the centre of my universe and I am her satellite, meant to be hers and only hers. In other words, I would easily die for her, even though we have just met, even though I know absolutely nothing about this gorgeous girl with the loveliest eyes.

What I want to do now is just reaching her, sit with her and talk to her. I want to know everything. Why did she come here? Why did she move away? What's her favourite colour? What movies does she like? Does she like rain? _Well, I guess so, otherwise, she wouldn't want to live in a place like this._

I see her smiling and I feel suddenly dizzy, I could instantly melt just looking at her smiling like that.

She is talking to mom, Leah, Quil's mom and Billy, Rachel near her rubbing her back. It seems like she is trying to calm her. _Why? Is she alright? Is she uncomfortable? What I would give, what I would do to be the one rubbing her back_.

"Stop looking at her like that Seth, you will freak the hell out of her". Sam tells me, patting me on the shoulder and grinning.

"Is this normal? Wanting to be with her this much even if I barely know her?" I whisper, more to myself than to my brothers.

"Yes, it is. But calm down and try to act normal, she is already uncomfortable because she is the new one in town". He replies, patting me once more, and then going towards Emily. I see the way they look at each other's, I have always been kind of jealous of that, but now… maybe one day she will look at me the same way Emily looks at Sam.

"The Gods know you need this". Paul says, handing me a beer. "Drink, and please stop acting like a maniac, you are going to scare that girl away".

Technically I shouldn't drink, I am only nineteen but being one of the Protector of the Rez has its perks and drinking alcohol before reaching the legal age of 21 is one of these. Moreover, the fact that I am a wolf means that my organs cannot be ruined by alcohol and my body does not absorb it like a normal human being. Simple words: I cannot get drunk and I can drink as much as I want.

I take a few sips of my cold beer and finally decide to turn myself and try to not look at my imprint. I can still smell her scent though; it reminds me of the ocean and the beach.

_Her scent reminds me of my favourite place, of course._

Like the maniac I know I am being, I take a deep breath and try to absorb it as much as I can. I close my eyes, feeling in heaven. I have never been as happy as I am right now.

_What a cliché. But it is so true._

Jacob and Nessie look at me, shaking their heads in disapproval. They know what I have just done.

"I shall call you Creepy Seth from now on". Nessie says, rubbing my arm with her cold hand. "Why don't you go talk to her? She is impatiently waiting for you". She winks, going back into Jacob's arms. How lucky I am to have two best friends like them who will keep calling me like that for the rest of my days. The Pack too, they will tease me for days.

Meanwhile, Cordelia is not in the same place I left her seconds ago. A look around the small Uley's backyard and I find her sitting on one of the benches with Leah and Niki. Seeing my sister with my imprint makes me feel on cloud nine. I really wish they get along.

Everyone is now starting to eat – _finally, I would say_ – and I see Leah and Niki getting up from their sits. This is my moment. I try to guess what she is drinking. _Lemonade! Ah!_

I fill up two plates with Emily's tacos, which I know are the best, and I take another beer for me and lemonade for her.

I take a deep breath, and before someone else can, I approach her.

"Hey". I smile, looking in her languid caramel eyes. I can notice she's blushing. She bites her bottom lip and smiles.

"Hey". She replies, moving so to make room for me on the bench. She is so shy and so cute at this moment that it makes me want to hug her tight. _Calm down, tiger. Don't be a creep._

"You need to try this, the best tacos in the Rez". I hand her the plate and the glass with the lemonade. She takes them and puts the plate on her legs, uncovered from the white dress. I can see a white tattoo on her left thigh. _Not the moment to look at her legs, idiot._

She lowers her head, tucking a strand of black hair behind her left ear, then she looks at me, wrinkling her nose in embarrassment. She blushes more.

"I am sorry for… you know, before. I really thought I have already seen you. I looked like an idiot and…".

"Don't". I stop her, looking at her with a serious expression. "It happens all the time. People see _the brightest, the bestest_ , the handsomest Seth Clearwater and they just think they have already met me because well… who wouldn't want to be me… and I also resemble a famous actor so, you're forgiven".

She laughs heartily. A laugh I would like to hear every day for the rest of my eternity. She wrinkles her nose when she laughs, she closes her eyes, lowers her head a little and closes her shoulders forward. This girl is the human personification of cuteness, and she is _mine_. My wolf proudly growls again at that thought.

"That makes zero sense". She tries not to laugh again so much, she can't. "But thanks for forgiving me." Is that a sarcastic tone I am hearing? Does she like to joke around? _It would be awesome._

"No, but really, I am used to girls being so impressed by me to try to catch my attention in many ways". I keep joking, praying that she will go along with my attempt to make her feel better. And with my surprise she does.

"You should add 'the humblest' to your little description". Sarcastic tone, again. She likes to joke, and I think I like her more and more as minutes pass, as I could possibly not like my soulmate.

We start eating and I avoid looking at her to not making her feel anxious. I can see her eyes widening, an astonished expression on her face.

"Oh my god, you are right. This is so good". She looks at me with an adorable childish expression, the one that makes you melt immediately. Then, something I couldn't imagine happens, she takes her second tacos and she does a little happy dance while eating it. I can just look at here eating so happily and moving like that for the rest of the night.

"Told ya!" I reply, expressing the same excitement.

_No doubt she is my imprint. Absolutely no one._

"So… you're Jacob's and Rachel's cousin, right?" I ask her, sipping my beer. "Why have we never met before?"

She swallows and again she bites her bottom lips.

"Well, I was little when mom and I moved, and I didn't have many friends back then, except for Rachel and Rebecca". She answers, with a hint of nostalgia in her words and something else, something that makes my wolf worry. But then, she smiles again and keeps talking. "I used to spend all my free time with our grandparents, and I didn't even care to make friends of my age".

The tone she uses is so familiar, is the same I use when I talk about dad. It is the tone you use when you want to remember something good, something precious but at the same time, you know that remembering it means suffering the pains of hell. I don't want her to suffer, neither now nor any other time.

Our eyes meet again, and we smile at each other. I observe her, the way her wavy hair is falling on her shoulder and around her face, the way our knees are touching, my too-much-warm skin against hers. She doesn't seem to be bothered by this kind of skin contact, and I am so glad of it.

"Mh, well I think you have compensated this evening. All the people you see here will easily become your friends in no time. Even though I would advise you to stay away from Jared and Embry, unless you are into stupid and childish bets, and keep tight the bestest people". I grin at her, pointing at myself.

"Something tells me I will avoid all three of you, especially the bestest one". She says with a little smirk on her face, looking at me, her eyes full of a light I know mine shared too.

_Something tells me that it will be so easy to fall in love with you. Maybe I already have._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s 3 am in Italy right now, and I have just finished this chapter. I hope you liked it. 
> 
> Thank you for reviewing this story, and for adding it to your followed and favourites. 
> 
> Let me know what you think about this chapter! I am curious! 
> 
> See ya,  
> Ipswich


	5. FOUR

** WARNING** **: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A DESCRIPTION OF A PHYSICAL AND MENTAL CRISIS THAT RESEMBLES A PANIC ATTACK AND A SEIZURE. IF YOU’RE SENSITIVE ABOUT THIS CONTENT PLEASE AVOID READING THE FIRST PART, THE ONE BEFORE THE LONG ITALIC PART.**

* * *

### FOUR - And the art of surviving hell

Some nights it’s impossible for me to fall asleep; my body is exhausted, so is my mind, but there is something that prevents me from closing my eyes and fall into _that good night_. It’s something that haunts me since the night my grandparents died, the night of the accident. It’s something that keeps repeating from time to time, unexpectedly, and every time it catches me off-guard. I should be used to it by now, but it seems like every time is worse than the previous one.

And this, _this_ is one of those nights. 

My body is burning, I am cold sweating and I think my heart is trying to implode in my chest. I curl up under my pink flower sheets, the ones my mother gave me before moving, compressing the part of the chest where the heart is with both my hands intertwined. I can feel the beats under my sweaty palms, and it hurts. Each heartbeat feels like a fist in the guts, a knife in the back. My muscles start shaking, and a known sensation is spreading throughout my body, a sensation I have learnt to know well in these three years. I whimper, knowing that in a few moments I will completely lose control of my entire body. The awareness makes me anxious, and this anxious state does nothing but making things worse. I try to take deep breaths, like my phycologist in New York told me to do, but every time I try, my chest burns. I gasp to try to breathe, but no air is going inside or outside of my body. I feel like a fish out of the sea, left alone on the shore while it is trembling and clinging to his last tiny drop of water to stay alive one second more. 

_This is just a panic attack, Cordelia. Breath in._

I gasp. 

_Breath out_. 

I gasp again, knowing exactly that this is not a panic attack. It’s been three years since the first time I had this kind of mental and physical crisis, and no doctor has ever discovered what the hell is happening to me. Everyone keeps saying that it’s because of my father, but I know it’s nothing like that, it’s something more, it has to be. This is not normal; _I am not normal_ but neither my mother nor my doctors believe it. 

The burning in my body is growing, I feel like I’m completely covered in fire even though everything around me is dark, the only light is a ray of moonlight coming from the curtains that I did not close properly before coming to bed. 

_Hold on to the light. Hold on to the light._ I repeat myself like a mantra. 

All of a sudden, my limbs start stretching without my consent, almost as there is some dark invisible figure who is trying to rip them off of my body. The pain is so strong that I can’t help but start screaming until I feel my vocal cords burning. 

_Is it possible that my bones are breaking themselves?_

The amount of pain I have to suffer is always the same, it never changed in these three years, and this is not even the worst part. 

A tingling sensation is spreading through my face; my eyes widen, and I start choking. 

_It’s happening. It’s here_. I am zooming out, and after I do there is no coming back.

Without warning, a big electric jolt spreads through my mind and body. My body jerks, spasms, and I have no control of it, no control at all. My eyes widen more - I don’t even know if it is physically possible, but they do - and finally, with one last, wild, piercing scream - that almost resembles a howl - I faint. 

And _I go gentle into_ another of my nightmares.

_Silhouettes of dark trees cross my eyes; I see them running fast towards me. I hear a strong howl, so powerful I cannot resist moving in its direction. Familiar voices are filling my head, making me feel dizzy and almost… violated. These voices, I can recognize them, but it seems I cannot remember to whom they belong._

_I hear other howls, this time closer. I don’t know how but I find myself running towards them, faster and faster until I arrive near a river, enlightened by the full moon._

_Eleven giant wolves stand on the right side of the river, ready to fight, and on the other one, four red-eyed creatures are hissing at them._

_I recognize some of the wolves, they are always present every time I zoom out since the accident happened. How many drawings I have of them in New York and here in my home in La Push, how many sketchbooks and canvas full of their furs and paws, and eyes and muzzles._

_I can still hear those voices in my head, I don’t know where they come from… or do I? Maybe I just don’t want to know._

_I close my eyes for a second and when I open them again, I see the wolves running towards the four creatures._

_Fear._

_That’s all I can feel right now. Concern for those wolves and fear. I see them attacking those strange creatures and being attacked back. I try to move, to join them but I can’t, there is something that pulls me back._

_Although the wolves are numerically superior, the four creatures keep punching them, hurting them, they are way stronger than all of them, and my concern grows and grows while seeing those wolves to the ground, whining in pain._

_In a blink of an eye, everything changes. I am not where I was before, I am in the middle of the fight, but it seems like no one can see or hear me. I turn around to have a clear view, I try to scream to draw some kind of attention, but nothing changes. To their eyes, I do not exist, or at least to most of them. I scream again and this time someone can hear me. One of the wolves stops and starts looking around, visibly confused. He cannot find the source of the voice. He shakes his head and goes back to fight one of the creatures. My eyes never leave him, I keep looking at him while he courageously and bravely fights until for some strange reason he collapses to the ground and growls in pain. At that view, everything around me stops and another excruciating pain – this time different from the last one – hit me. In a complete adrenaline rush, with a pain in the chest that keeps me from breathing properly, I run towards the wolf, scared as I have never been, tears running down my cheeks. The only word I can repeat over and over again is “no!”, I am almost shouting, but no one hears me except for that one wolf._

_I am almost there, near him; I keep stumbling, my eyes never leaving his figure and my voice always repeating that same word. I can see him moving, I am almost there. He turns his muzzle in my direction, and our eyes meet. Like a Deja-vu, I am fully aware to have already met those eyes, not once but hundreds of times. Those are the eyes I always draw after my nightmares, that is the same sandy fur, full of different brown and yellow nuances, I am used to colour. I am so near him I can almost touch him… I just want to know if he is ok…_

And then I wake up. 

I jump in my bed and I sit, heavily breathing and still with that strange pain in my chest, near my heart. It takes me five minutes to understand that I am in my room, that the sun is up, and that it was just another strange crisis of mine. This time, though, it hurt more. The images of the wolf lying on the ground so vulnerable and in pain make me sick. I start sobbing, more and more, clutching my legs with my arms and burying my face in them; until that sobbing turns into a hysterical crying. That dreadful pain in the chest is still there, growing stronger every minute, and I find myself wondering what happened to that wolf. It all seemed so real, no way it has been just a dream.

All-day pass and I avoid every call and every interaction with other people, remaining in the same fetal position in my bed, crying out loud for the sake of a wolf which probably does not even exist. But the pain exists, it is real, I am feeling it and it’s killing me from the inside. 

***

I have spent the last three days in my room. Uncle Billy has not called at all, Rachel neither. Obviously, I am not expecting to be their first thought, they have their lives to live, but it feels so strange. 

_Maybe something happened. Maybe that was not just a dream._

No. I should stop thinking about that horrible dream. My reclusion is one of its consequences. All I have done in these three days is crying, thinking about that wolf and drawing what I saw, drawing him on the ground. I can still see his dark brown eyes into mine. 

While I was still in New York I thought that coming home would have helped me with these crises, but now it seems that they are becoming even stronger and more painful, or at least this last one was. I am trying to recover from it, but nothing seems to work. 

Outside the sky is completely covered in dark grey clouds and heavy rain is falling, loudly and persistently. I dry my eyes with a sleeve of my pyjamas, and I get up from the bed, headed to the window. I slightly open it and I light some of my scented candles, scattered around the room. The sound of the rain falling and the visual effect of the candles lightened have always relaxed me, and only the Gods know how much I need to relax right now. I haven’t slept or eaten in three days, and something tells me I need a shower too. Actually, I have so many things to do before school starts that I should not waste any more time. 

_Then why my body refuses to work?_

Collecting every inch of strength I’ve got left, I find the courage to open the door of my room. Because that is the problem, coming back to my life. It all seemed so real the other night, I was so scared, that coming back to my normal life is something I can’t even think about. I am terrified to find out that it was all real, that someone got hurt and I was there and couldn’t help. 

_But it wasn’t real._

#### Seth’s POV

It has been three years since any vampire crossed the Reservation borders and although we were ready to fight, as we always are, we didn’t expect those vampires to be some of the Volturi’s guard. We thought we had beaten them when Nessie was born and they came to check if she was an immortal child; we surely were not prepared for an unjustified attack in the middle of the night three days ago, especially because the Cullen’s were not even home and Nessie was not even with Jacob. 

_Which makes me think that we were the target!_

They were stronger than five years ago, and something tells me that they studied us in some way, because they all could anticipate each of our moves. Moreover, there was that dammit blonde little girl – Jane, I suppose – who can still make you feel the pains of hell just looking at you, and guess who’s turn was to be kicked in the _mental ass_ by her? _Mine, of course_. 

It was the worst feeling I could have ever felt, like I was being electrocuted and burnt from the inside. My brain was completely melting in the meantime, I could feel my brothers’ voices, but I was not able to answer them or to think straight. I just laid on the ground, whining in pain, praying the Gods that one of my brothers beat that bitch. 

Something happened during that fight, though, something extremely strange. Right in the middle of it, I could hear a scream coming from somewhere near me, but I could find no one. That voice was so familiar, but no one heard it except for me. In the beginning, I thought it was some collateral effect of the torture Jane was inflicting me, but then I could hear a repeating and screamed “no!” and I swear I saw someone running towards me. I saw two caramel eyes in the dark, I was sure of it, and I am also sure that they were Cordelia’s eyes. I could recognize my imprint’s eyes among billions. 

But she was not there, I couldn’t smell her salty scent. How could I have seen her eyes when she was not even there? 

The Pack told me that maybe it really was a collateral effect of the torture because otherwise there would be no explanation at all. But through my mind, they could also see and heard what I saw and heard alone. 

Maybe I should stop thinking about all of this and going to see her. After the fight, I was so physically messed up that Billy told me to not go to her, or she would have suspected something. I had to rest too – under Mom’s orders - because of all that torture, and so I have spent three days constantly thinking about those long, thick brown hair of hers falling wildly on her shoulders and those dreamy caramel eyes, the brightest stars in the entire universe. I have thought about that white tattoo on her tigh too: the night of the party I could not see it very well because of the light and her dress. 

Oh Gods, that beautiful boho dress she was wearing made her look even more stunning. 

I miss her so much and I know that I only spoke to her once, but I want her here near me, I want to caress those rose cheeks of hers, to kiss that always frowned forehead and laugh at our stupid and not funny at all jokes. I just want to spend time with her, doing absolutely nothing but filling the void she left inside me, when she jumped in the car with Jake to go back to her grandparent’s house. 

I feel nothing when I am not with her, _I am nothing_ without her and I know that this sounds like a toxic thing but on the contrary, it is not. This is what the imprinting does to a wolf, it just rips a huge part of your heart off – better, your entire heart and soul - and gives it to another human being, to which you’ll be bonded for the rest of the eternity. I cannot even think about my life without her now, and I really hope she will accept it. Because, another thing the imprinting does it’s that an imprintee can choose to stay with her/his wolf, meaning that she fully accepts the imprinting bond and so you can live together happily ever after, like in the most romantic comedies or… or she can choose to reject it and go away. And in that case, the only thing a wolf can do is letting his soulmate go away, even knowing that he will never love anyone else, that she will always be his only one and true love. The wolf will always be there waiting for her. As I will always be here waiting for _her_ , in case she does not want to be a part of this crazy supernatural world. 

_I have to see her. Now._ I think while getting up from my bed and going straight into the shower. As the warm water is falling over my entire body, I contemplate all the scars I have collected since I was 14 and phased for the first time. I would not blame Cordelia if she was too afraid to accept that her soulmate can shift into a bear-sized wolf and kills vampires for a living. How could I? The most important things for me are her safety and happiness, and If she is safe and happy without me, well, I can just act as a side character for her story and do every possible thing to keep her _happy and safe_ , indeed. 

I don’t exactly know with what excuse I should show up to her door, I try to figure something out while getting dressed but nothing comes to my mind.

“Ma, going out. Don’t know when coming back. Love ya!” I say out loud running down the stairs and taking the keys of my car. 

It is easy to find her house, I practically follow her scent until it becomes stronger and stronger, and here it is. I park in her driveway and turn off the car, trying to catch some sound or movement to see if she is at home or not. And fortunately she is, I can hear her tinker with something. 

_Come on Seth, you have been dreaming of her for three days. It’s your time to shine._

I take a deep breath and get out of the car, quickly heading to the front door. 

I don’t even have the time to knock that she opens the door, instantly freezing because she wasn’t expecting me. She raises her head and I can finally drown again in those caramel eyes I have longed to see for days. The urge to touch her is so strong that I have to close my hands into fists so to not hug her and hold her tight. I can sense a hint of anxiety and restlessness in her body movements though, like there is something that’s worrying her.

“Seth”, she breaths out surprised, her eyes widening and a shy smile appearing on her face. 

“Hi!” I reply timidly, giving her my warmest smile. “I am… sorry to bother you… maybe I should see you another time.” I continue, noticing that she has her car keys and home keys in one hand, and she is fully dressed to go out. 

She frowns her eyebrows and bites the inner part of her lower lip.

“Oh I… no, NO! You are not bothering at all!” She replies goofily. 

_How can you be so damn cute every time, girl?_

“I was just going to the grocery shop. All I have left is non-alcoholic beer and I am not that desperate yet to only live off of that.” She says, chuckling and playing with her keys. Another sign of anxiety.

_This is so our moment, man! Come on, just ask her._

“In this case, let me escort you to the nearest shop…of course if you want to… I- I don’t want to ruin your day.” Since when I am so goofy with the opposite sex? Where did Paul’s lessons go? 

_To hell, this is your soulmate. Could you please not act creepy, thanks? We don’t want to ruin everything in just a few days._

Her cheeks become even more pinkish and she swallows. 

“Well, you could…Ehm… escort me not to the nearest but… to the best stocked one… maybe? I’m kind of spoiled when it comes to food”. She says bashfully, smiling and wrinkling her nose. 

_If you ask me like this, I could escort you to the moon, baby girl._

“I happen to know exactly where to take you,” I answer grinning and moving to the side of the door to let her pass and close it. 

“How lucky I am today!”, she says teasingly, when I gently take her umbrella and open it, inviting her to get to my side. I guide her towards my car with one arm behind her back, never touching her clothes. She does not say anything, but I feel her relaxing. I open the car door for her trying to not get her wet from the rain, and I find myself mentally jumping from joy because her being in my car means her scent being stuck there for days. 

I get inside the car too; I turn to look at her one last time before starting the engine and I find her still smiling at me. 

“Ready to go?” I ask her happily. We are only going to go grocery shopping but to me it seems like I am doing the most exciting thing on Earth. Just because I am doing it with _her_. I never liked grocery shopping, actually, I hate it when mom asks me to do it, but with her… well it’s _her_ , I could jump from a tower if she asked, and I would do it gladly. 

She nods in reply, never stops smiling and my heart melts for the hundredth times in five minutes. 

Coming to see her has been the best decision today. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay but I was stuck on this chapter for days and days and I still don't like it. Finally, we know what happened to Cordelia, or at least we know something.
> 
> Thank you for adding this story to your favourites and for following it! I would be really happy if you could tell me how did you find this chapter and if there is something that needs to be changed, because as I said I don't particularly like it. But maybe it's just me. I want to hear your opinion, though!
> 
> As always, If you find some grammatical errors please don't hesitate to tell me.
> 
> Thank you so much!
> 
> See you next week,
> 
> Ipswich


	6. FIVE

### FIVE

“If I choose you, you are going to be rotten tomorrow evening when I need you. But if I choose you” – I say picking up the second of the only three avocados in the store – “you’re going to be unripe tomorrow, so useless.” I sigh, curling my lips and then biting my bottom lip while thinking about which of them to choose.

“Don’t make me start with you, sir”, I keep going, talking to the third avocado.

I hear a slight cough next to me.

“Do you always speak to your vegetables or you’re just going insane?” Seth asks, looking at me with curiosity and then laughing out loud.

“Upsie”, I can feel my cheeks becoming hotter for the embarrassment. “I swear, it only happens with avocados, they tend to destroy my meal plans every time I buy them!” I try to justify myself, grinning at him and rolling my eyes.

“It happened with the lemons too, though”, he mockingly replies.

It has been an hour since Seth took me to this giant grocery shop just outside Forks, and the only things I have in my shopping basket are almond milk, greek yoghurt and lemons indeed. He is patiently following me through the aisles and listening to me talking to myself or the food and laughing from time to time because of what I say.

I wasn’t expecting to find him on my front porch this morning. I don’t know why but a part of me was happy to see him and be with him, and another part was almost relieved; and then, when he offered to take me to the grocery shop, both parts of me were enthusiastic.

“I think I am going to stick with the unripe one”, I say, picking the avocado up and then immediately put it again in his place. “Or maybe not…”, I continue picking up the first one, again.

“Oh, damn, choose one Cordelia”, I finally say picking again the unripe avocado.

Seth shakes his head, chuckling and then follows me while I start walking through the aisles one more time.

“How can you spend so much time here? Don’t you get bored or something? I usually hate it.”

He says, helping me picking some packages of pasta from the top shelf, obviously too high for me.

At those words, I freeze, thinking that maybe he showed up to my house just to ask me something quickly and go straight away. Guilty feelings start taking control of my stomach and without any logical reason, I kind of feel bad because of his words. _Am I bothering him? Or worse, annoying him?_

“I am-I am sorry. You could have said it. I…”, it is just a whisper, said while lowering my head, but I think he heard it because I see him freezing too, his arm still up with the packages of pasta in his hands. He looks at me, frowning his eyebrows, and then he realizes. His eyes widen and he opens his mouth to speak but he can’t say anything at the beginning.

“Wait… NO! That’s not what I meant. I am not… Take all the time you need; I don’t hate it!” He says vehemently, never looking away; his eyes stuck in mine, dark brown into caramel.

I see him blushing, or at least I think so, it’s slightly hard to say considering his russet skin, a bit darker than mine. Anyway, he looks so cute.

“No, but seriously. If you have to go, don’t worry. I can call Jake or Rachel, or even Paul to pick me up”.

“I took you here, Cordelia, and I am the one who’s going to bring you home.” He says as we start walking again. “It’s that…”, he rolls his eyes, a little embarrassed, “every time I come with mom or Leah or they send me here alone, I can never pick the junk food I want. I have to buy all this healthy stuff they’re obsessed with…” he finishes the sentence jokingly miming a repelled expression.

I sigh, shaking my head and grinning.

“Yeah but… today, you’re here with me…” I say, signalling him to follow me with my free hand, and I guide him to the junk food aisle.

“And you can pick whatever you want. Really…anything”, I continue, stopping him at the beginning of the aisle and moving my free arm gesturing a grand entrance.

He looks at me, confusion in those big eyes. I huff, moving ahead and stopping near the chips’ shelves. Then, with a single movement of my arm, I make a lot of random chips bags fall from the shelf directly into the basket. I look at him again with a knowing smile. He finally realizes what I mean.

“No. No, come on. I can’t take advantage of you”, he immediately replies, earning an angry look from me. I cluck my tongue in disapproval and then I huff again.

“Please. It’s the least I can do after this. You’re wasting your time here with me even though you don’t like it!”

“It’s… I didn’t mean that”.

“Whatever you meant; I don’t care. Chose anything you want. And If you feel guilty about taking these things home with you, we could always eat them together at my place”. I say naively, smiling at him.

Talking to Seth in this way is so easy, as it is to be around him. It almost feels like we have known each other since always and not just three days ago.

I see a smirk appearing on his face.

“In this case, I think I am headed to the ice cream aisle”, he replies, raising his eyebrows slyly.

“Coming right away with ya! I need to reload my stock of peanut butter and salted caramel Häagen-Dazs”.

We both laugh as we start walking again. I swear I have never been so light-hearted as I am right now next to him. I have not stopped smiling since he showed up and I am glad he did. These last few days have been so difficult and lonely, and I needed to get out of the house for some fresh air and good company. And Seth’s company is the best I can get right now. If only I could freeze this moment forever and keep smiling like this, with him, for the days to come. If only I could avoid seeing what my eyes are seeing right now. If only one day of my life could be easy and completely happy.

Did I believe for a second that my life could be this good? Did I really believe that my past would have stayed in the past? That it wouldn’t hurt anymore?

_What a fool. I never learn._

At that view, my legs stop moving and I feel my heart pounding in my chest like a hammer. My father is here, in this same shop, at this same hour, in this same aisle. And he is not alone. A boy around Seth’s age is with him, laughing at his words, choosing with him what ice cream to pick.

“Hey, Embry! Mr Call!”

And it seems that Seth knows them. _Seth knows my father_. Seth knows my father and apparently, he is friend with _his_ son.

What I would give to run away in this exact moment, to go back to New York, hug my mother and cry like a baby. The idea to move here seems so stupid right now. I knew one day I had to meet him; it would have been impossible not to meet each other in this little town but I wasn’t expecting to see him so soon.

And I wasn’t expecting to see him happy with his son, either.

Jealousy. It’s all I can feel. He abandoned me, he called me a mistake, but he decided to raise the son born from an adulterous affair and marry the woman with whom he cheated on my mom. He chose to abandon me to raise another human being.

I see Seth getting near them and talk to them like it is nothing, like he does not know what happened.

_Because he really doesn’t. Remember, just a few people know actually._

I keep staring at them, my mouth half opened and my eyes watery. I cannot afford to cry here, right now, not in front of him. I will never give him the satisfaction to see me hurt or in pain.

I am furious, so much that I start shaking a bit.

“Sue is making you do the grocery shop, kiddo?” Archibald Call says, patting one of Seth’s big and muscled shoulders. The latter smiles bashfully and starts scratching the back of his neck with one hand.

“Actually, I am here with Co…” He looks next to himself and does not find me.

I quickly lower my head towards the refrigerator compartment pretending to look at the food.

“Oh, there she is! Cordelia, come here!” He shouts at me.

I pretend again to be a little disoriented, looking around to search for Seth. But I know exactly where he is. 

All three of them are now staring at me, waiting for me to move or say something. Smiling, I reach Seth’s side and look at my father right in his eyes. The tension among us is so thick that it could be cut with a knife. The same knife I would use to cut off that sarcastic and repellant smile from my father’s face. I have never understood why he keeps treating me like this, like I am not good enough to live on this Earth.

I get closer to Seth until our elbows touch, hoping that this little physical contact can help me not having a mental breakdown in the ice cream aisle.

“Cordelia Black”. The way he pronounces my name makes me shiver in disgust. The only revenge I have had in the past was changing my surname. Years ago, I didn’t like the idea to have the surname of a person who hated me, who verbally abused me, who asked my mother to abort before it was too late; so, I decided to change it with my mother’s one. If on my birth certificate it is said that I do not have a father, why keeping his stupid surname? I wanted to cut off every legal and emotional connection I had with him. I was born a Black and I will stay a Black until death. Instead of revenge though, I did him a favour. He was patiently waiting for that moment to finally express what he really felt about me: I wasn’t his daughter; I have never been, and I will never be. I remember every second of that conversation in court and I also remember the exact moment in which my heart broke in so many pieces that it is still impossible to assemble them again, even after so many years. Uncle Billy almost hit him in his face after what he said, and my mother was so furious that Rachel had to block her to not let her run towards Archibald and kill him.

How could someone say something like that to his daughter? To his own flesh and blood?

It took me hundreds of hours sitting in my therapist’s studio to get over it, and sometimes his cruel words still haunt my dreams and echo in my mind.

“Do you already know each other?” Seth asks visibly surprised, looking suspiciously at Archibald’s son.

“Yes, Seth. I already know who Mr Call is”, I reply tenderly smiling at him and gently putting my hand on his elbow.

“But I think you have never met my son, Embry”, Archibald provocatively says to me. Sometimes I just think he is the teenage between us and I am the responsible adult. I immediately look at Embry, who seems similar to Seth: kind of same height, same strong native traits, even though Seth has wider shoulders and he is more gangly than Embry. There is no comparison at all, though, Seth wins the match and the entire game.

“It’s nice to meet you… finally”. It’s all I have to say to him. I try to keep my smile while saying those words even though all I want now is to become invisible and run away as far as my legs can take me.

“Nice to meet you too”. He mumbles without looking at me, not even for a second.

I cannot express in words how much it hurts to finally meet someone who stole my family and my childhood. For many years I thought it was all his fault. If he hadn’t been born maybe I would have had a real father, maybe Archibald would have loved me… maybe I could have stayed in La Push and not move. But in the end, after nights spent crying and days spent under my sheets or in my therapist’s office, I understood that his absence wouldn’t have changed anything. Archibald Call did not want another child at that time, he did not want me, he specifically did not want a child with my mother even if he was married to her. I was a mistake; I knew it when I was only a child and I still know it now. How am I supposed to forget it if it’s the first thing I remember about my childhood? 

I gulp, starting to get uncomfortable but never stop smiling. I will never let him win this. In the most natural and tender way, Seth protectively puts his arm around my waist, never touching me. I get slightly stiff and turn my head in his direction. What I see are deep and sweet dark brown eyes that reassuringly look at me, and what I feel is an overwhelming calming sensation: Seth is the best person I could have at my side in a situation like this.

“I think we should go back to our shopping, Coco”, he says still looking and smiling at me. I am a little surprised about that nickname. I have never allowed anyone to use a nickname with me, I love my first name too much to let someone ruin it. However, there is something in the sweet and tender tone he has used that makes me want to listen to him calling me like that over and over again. The way he has marked the first “c” and the ease with which he has used the name makes me almost like it. At these thoughts, I blush again, and I try to lower my face to hide it, but I cannot stop a little smirk to appear on my face. 

Seth turns his head back to Archibald and Embry.

“Always a pleasure to meet you Mr Call”, he greets. “See you at Emily’s, Em!”

I am not the only one to notice that his tone changes when he addresses his friend. It’s not as much friendly as before, but not cold either.

“The pleasure is mine. Goodbye Seth. Goodbye Miss Black”. Archibald replies, gesturing Embry to follow him while he starts walking.

“Goodbye Mr Call”, I say before he gets too far.

Embry does not answer, he just lowers his head and follows his father.

I hear Seth sighing and taking a deep breath, his arm still around my waist.

“Thank you” I breathe, looking at him with an int of shame in my eyes. I don’t know if he has understood what just happened. He is worried, I can see it all over his face, but he is trying to cover it. _Too late, Seth._

What I didn’t know moments before and what I will learn in the years to come is that Seth Clearwater has the ability to make the light shine even in the darkest place on earth. He can make you smile even in your darkest days, without asking nothing in return. And I will never thank him enough for this.

He shakes his head and one of the brightest smiles I have ever seen appears on his adorable face.

“Let’s hurry, we have plans for this afternoon”.

We start walking again through the aisles, his arm never leaving my waist, his eyes never leaving my figure. He keeps talking to me like nothing ever happened, he is trying his best to make me smile and laugh again and it is working, because in just ten minutes all those negative thoughts and emotions disappear from my mind. Seth can handle and cure my traumas much more than my therapist can.

It’s still raining when we get out of the grocery shop and go back to my grandparents’ house, full of food. Seth stops his car in my driveway and comes to open my door before going to the back and take all the bags, under the pouring rain.

I immediately get off the car and open the umbrella, hurrying to the back of the car to cover him.

“Let me help you, these are too many for one person!” I say, while he still manages to close the hood of the car despite all the paper bags.

“Nah, no worries”, he replies as we head towards the front porch. I quickly close my umbrella, leaving it outside, open the door and let him enter first.

“Kitchen is down the hallway”, I inform him, guiding him there.

He places all the bags on the dining table and only at this moment I realize that maybe I bought too many things. “I can feed the entire tribe for a month at least.”

Seth laughs, taking off his jacket and so do I. “Can I take it?” I ask. He nods and gives it to me. I go back to the entrance and hang both jackets in a little small closet, then I rapidly come back to the kitchen where I find him taking out all the groceries from the bags.

“Stop there! You have already done too much today!” I tell him, gently blocking his hands with mine. A sudden dizzy feeling makes my stomach turn, hundreds of butterflies flying around when our eyes meet. I haven’t realized that I am too close to him and our faces are an inch away from each other’s’.

I can sense a strange heat coming from his body, which does nothing but increasing the heat my body is generating for the proximity of our faces. Despite the embarrassment and the visible pinkish colour my cheeks are taking on, I can’t take my eyes off him, like the first night we met. And it seems that the same thing is happening to him.

Then he coughs and looks away, shyly. _How can a guy so tall, muscled and a bit hunky be so shy and have such doe puppy eyes?_ I wonder.

“Mh… What about a movie while we binge-eat all this junk food?”, I ask a little embarrassed. Only now I am realizing that I practically invited him to spend time with me, _alone_ , in my own house.

_Is this an indirect date? Oh no._

Seth nods at my question.

“Out in the hallway, on the right, there is a room with a yellow armchair. I have every subscription ever on the tv, just pick whatever you like”, I continue, encouraging him.

“Sure you want me to choose?” he replies grinning. “I am really into splatter things”. He continues, talking more to himself than to me as he heads to the library room.

“WOAH”, he shouts out loud. “Never seen so many books in the same place!”

“It’s called a library. Never seen one?” I joke, replying from the kitchen while hurrying to put the groceries in the fridge and in the kitchen cabinets.

“Of course, I know what a library is, Coco!” He replies annoyed and sighs loudly, “I meant…Never seen so many books in the same room!”

“Never went to a bookstore before?” I try not to laugh, and I stick out my tongue a little bit.

I hear Seth huffing again, this time exasperated.

“Not funny, and you have a problem with all these books”, is his only reply. Then, he turns on the tv and starts zapping through the streaming platforms.

In the meantime, I am preparing our healthy meal: peanut butter ice cream with meringues and a little bit of melted chocolate for me, lemon and cream ice cream with shortbread chunks for Seth, flaming’ hot Cheetos, spicy sweet chilli Doritos and so many other things that I cannot even tell. Just looking at this stuff is making me gain 20 pounds.

When I am ready, I reach Seth in the library room and put all the stuff on the coffee table in front of the tv, which hangs on the fireplace. He looks at them in a childish enthusiastic way.

“Oh, I am in heaven!” He exclaims before grabbing his bowl. “Thank you”, he slurs, while chomping on a huge spoon of ice cream.

I laugh seeing him eating it so ferociously. “Did you choose anything?” I take my bowl too and start eating my ice cream, in a normal and human way.

He nods again, never looking away from his food.

“How much do you like Star Wars?” He asks me while taking another huge spoon of ice cream.

“Never seen it”, I reply with absolute naturalness. He almost chokes.

“I am sorry, what did you say?” he looks at me like I’m some sort of alien or something.

“That I have never seen Star Wars…?” My tone is suspicious. I can’t even finish my sentence that he throws me a look of disappointment. He then shakes his head in disapproval and points a finger at me.

“We have to fix this, right now”, he says while putting on a movie. “You are going to love it, trust me”, he continues, pressing the play button on Star Wars Episode IV – A New Hope.

I look at him while I keep eating my ice cream, a little bit surprised but delighted to see him so excited about a movie. I cannot help but smile while looking at him talking so animatedly and enthusiastic about the plot and the characters. I don’t hear a single word, though, too busy observing how bright his eyes are when he speaks about something he likes, how passionate he is about it and how he is comfortably leaning on my couch like he is used to it, like he has done this many times before.

Again, I have this strange feeling about him, to have known him since always. The butterflies in my stomach are hitting hard now, and I let myself be overwhelmed by that dizziness, enchanted by the sight of that gangly boy talking so fervently about a stupid movie while eating ice cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I am finally back. It took me almost two weeks to write this chapter, and I still don't like it that much. But I don't hate it either.
> 
> We finally have some intimate moments between our main characters, and I like them together. Moreover, I tried to give you some new information about Cordelia's past. What do you think about that?
> 
> Let me know your opinions on this chapter, I always appreciate them.
> 
> As always, if you find errors don't hesitate to highlight them to me.
> 
> Thank you to all those who commented on the previous chapters and to all those who added this story to their favourites and followed. Thank you so much! 
> 
> Hoping you're all safe, sound and healthy.
> 
> See you soon,
> 
> Ipswich


	7. SIX

### SIX

#### Seth’s POV

Her salty and inebriant scent keeps distracting me from the movie, and I find myself silently looking at her. Her eyes move right to the left and vice versa following the action on the TV, her legs crossed, her back slightly bent forward in the direction of the screen. She has been so focused on the movie that she has not noticed that I am practically staring at her instead of watching it. Not that I really care about it, I have seen it so many times that I can quote it frame by frame.

I adore how much interest she’s showing even though she does not like it very much. Sometimes she just curls her lips and frowns angrily at what’s happening, and every time she does that I giggle and my heart melts.

I have never seen such a beautiful and gracious girl, _ever_. Well, _maybe_ I have in the past but now, no one can compare to her in anything.

I look at her and all I want to do is sitting closer to her, put my arm around her shoulders, hold her tight and caressing her gorgeous long hair while listening to the pouring rain falling outside. I wouldn’t dislike a few kisses, either, on those thick lips of hers which have haunted my dreams for these last three days.

The imprint happened so fast and so suddenly that I still can’t believe she’s here, with me and that she is _real_. One minute I am whining about the fact that I will never find her, and seconds before she magically appears in Emily’s and Sam’s backyard, with a shy smile on her face and a pair of eyes I could easily die for.

I am so focused on adoring her while she’s watching one of my favourite movies that I don’t notice that the said movie has ended, and she is now looking at me, one eyebrow upwards and an adorable expression of wondering all over her face.

She basically caught me looking at her in devotion, all imprinting style, and I cannot help but instantly blush. Gulping, I look away.

“So…”, I cough awkwardly. “Are you already a Star Wars fans?” I ask her while being strangely attracted by a painting on the wall.

I hear her swallowing hard and coughing awkwardly.

“I… Actually…”

I am so sure on what she’s about to say that I excitedly turn towards her, holding tight one of the pillows on the couch and looking at her with wide eyes, waiting for the magic words.

_Please, like it! Please like it!_

She squinches her eyes closed and with a shaky voice she says, “I don’t like it”. Time stops for a second and I need to concentrate a little to realize what she has actually said. I did not expect that.

She looks at me guiltily, like she is truly sorry about not liking the movie. Seeing her so genuinely worried makes my heart break a little, and all I can do is shaking my head and jokingly rolling my eyes.

“Well, I can forgive the fact that you don't like this one. In my opinion, this is the worst." I see her eyes lightning up, and she instantly smiles again. _How can she be so sweet? What did I do to deserve such a girl in my life?_

_Actually, you sacrificed your teenage years to protect your tribe from those red-eyed leeches and you have to keep doing this for the rest of your eternity. You're stuck here in this little Reservation without no escape. Oh, and because of the beforementioned leeches, you turn into a giant horse-sized wolf. This is what you did, boy._

“But… I will easily forgive _you_ if you are in to watch all the others”, I continue grinning.

She petrifies and closes her eyes. Then she takes a deep breath and blinks a couple of times, looking at me with a preoccupied expression.

“Is this not the only one?” she asks, her disbelief increasing. “Are there other movies like this? How…How many?” Now, she is terrified, and something tells me she is not into Sci-Fi, not at all.

A part of my heart really breaks this time, I have always thought – or better, hoped - that my imprint would have shared my same passions as Star Wars, and comic books, and tv series and other nerdy stuff like these.

_Well, this is not the case._

“Mh, let’s see”, I put my hand under my chin and start mentally counting all the remaining movies and spin-offs. “We have 8 movies remaining from the main saga, then 2 anthology movies and then there’s _The Mandalorian_ , the new tv series… the one advertised every three seconds on every channel”.

Strangely enough, she raises her back, sits straight and grins a little when she hears about the series.

_Something is weird._

“Wait… WAIT! The one with Pedro Pascal and that little green elf with pointy ears?” She almost screams, too much excited. I look at her, disappointment all over my face.

“Oh, so you didn’t like the movie, but you know who plays The Mandalorian…ah?” I ask her, raising my eyebrows. She instantly lowers her head a bit and starts biting her lips, I can see her cheeks warming up.

"It's that I… I know him from Game of Thrones and… I like his _acting skills_ ”, she says, oddly emphasizing the last two words and playing with her hands.

I still look at her with one eyebrow up and my tongue clicking, fully aware of the reason why she knows the show.

“Sure. His _acting skills_ ”, I mock her, stressing, even more, the words.

“Can’t we just see that and skip like everything else?” She asks looking at me so sweetly, with a broad smile, fluttering her eyelashes.

I look at her dead in the eyes. “No”, I reply, a hint of jealousy in this straight answer.

_For all the Gods, am I seriously being jealous of an actor?_

She angrily stares at me, pursing her lips and crinkling her nose, a little childish growl coming out from her mouth.

_Yes. Yes, I am._

_Is she the cutest little angry girl right now?_

_Yes. Yes, she is._

_Did that little breathy growl make me fall in love with her deeply in the blink of a supernatural eye?_

_YES. GODS, YES._

I can see her brain working on some sort of answer, she is extremely focused and keeps staring at me with an enigmatic look.

“Only at one condition”, she instantly changes expression. Now she is smirking in a way that suggests me nothing good is coming. "An eye for an eye. I will watch with you the entire saga, but in return…", her smirk becomes even eviler, “You’re going to watch with me Criminal Minds. _All 14 seasons_.”

I look at her completely horrified. She is into criminal stuff, which involves homicides, and murders, and documentary films on lost people, and podcast on unsolved cases. _Ohmygod no! No! She likes the same things Leah likes. NO! Why me?_

I petrify, already picturing in front of my eyes an entire life spent sitting on the couch between her and Leah eating junk food while watching Hannibal Lecter elegantly murdering a person and pleasingly cooking human meat.

_You hate this stuff. Tell her no, right now! She is your imprint, but this is too much._

“Ok”, I mumble, still looking frightened.

_Idiot._

“YES!” She exclaims, sweetly clenching her fists in the air and doing a little dance while still sat on the couch.

“In this way, each of us will endure the same amount of pain”, she continues, evilly smirking again.

_14 seasons. You’ll have to watch 14 seasons of people getting killed. Congratulation, idiot._

She tilts her head to the left, looking at my desperation and visibly enjoying it. That evil smirk still printed on her beautiful face.

_You’re going to be the end of me, baby girl. And I am going to enjoy it so much._

***

I left Cordelia’s house a few hours later, after helping her cleaning everything and getting rid of all the trash we made. That girl eats, _a lot_ , and strangely she hasn’t shown the slightest disgust or curiosity about the fact that I finished everything she bought at the grocery shop.

I am absolutely in awe right now. Spending so much time with her was like being in heaven. She is sweet, funny, adorable in levels I could have never imagined, and she’s also an awkward nerd exactly like me: the only differences are the things we enjoy. She is really into homicide, murders, cold cases and stuff like that - _maybe she is too much into it_ \- but the excitement in her eyes and words is so contagious that for a moment I liked to listen to her talking about someone getting flayed.

The way I feel when I am around her is so different from what I saw and felt through my brothers’ minds. This feeling is two times more powerful and the pull I feel towards her sometimes makes me lose my breath. I know that I have known her just for three days, but for my wolf, it is like I have known her for years. All this time, he was waiting for her and so was I, without being aware of it. Now that she’s here, my life has finally a purpose, a goal: _love her, make her happy, protect her, be whatever she wants me to be_.

This may seem toxic from the outside. Usually, people who don’t know about its existence consider it to be exaggerated, not healthy. I am fully aware of it, all the pack is, but this is one of the many things you have to accept when you discover to carry the burden of your ancestors. Imprinting love is stronger than human one, than vampire one and many humans cannot understand it. You cannot control it and if you try, it’s a losing game.

We don’t exactly know how imprintees react to that, what they feel, it’s always different every time. Every girl had a completely singular reaction: Emily was against it at the beginning and fought against it for Leah’s sake, Kim - thanks to her romantic way of seeing life – threw herself into Jared’s arms, Rachel run away for two months, she had other plans for her life, she wanted to go away from La Push but then she came back because the pull that linked her to Paul was too strong. Claire… well, everyone can see that the little girl can’t live without Quil, and although the situation is extremely cringing and odd, we are getting used to it one step at the time. As we are getting used to the fact that Jake imprinted on a half-vampire, born 5 years ago but who looks like and thinks like a fifteen years old girl. The last one is Niki: the poor girl had a mental breakdown when she found out, and all the girls had to help her go through it all. In the end, she decided to accept and embrace what was the truth: she is Embry’s soulmate and her boyfriend is a giant wolf. 

And now, we have another girl, _my Coco_. I wonder how she will react one day when I will finally find the courage to tell her the truth about me and my family.

While thinking about her precious smile, I laugh inside and start driving a little bit faster. I can’t wait to see Emily and the girls and tell them how much I loved this afternoon with her, how delightful was that overwhelming warm sensation that surrounded my body and mind and made me feel on cloud nine. How easy it is to be around her, how natural are our conversations and the way we move around each other.

Nonetheless, there is still something that is bothering me. I tried to hide it to not worry her, but now that I am alone, I can’t stop dwelling on it. In an instant, my mood changes, my hands tighten on the steering and a well-known sensation starts possessing my entire body. My jaw clenches and I close my eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. I squeeze the steering wheel even more, exceeding the Reservation speed limit. I am lucky I can control my car thanks to my supernatural senses, but I need to calm down otherwise my rage will make me phase in the car, and only the Gods know how much time I spent on building it with Jake. 

Flashes of what happened at the grocery shop appear in front of my eyes, causing my body to spasm and shake. It all seemed so strange and almost wrong: the way Mr Call looked at Cordelia, with that awful grin on his face; the way Embry was acting, he was nervous, almost angry and he never looked her in the eyes. What was worse though was Cordelia’s pain, I could feel it so intensely that I almost believed it was my own. I still cannot understand what really happened there. Why does Cordelia know Mr Call? Why did he look at her like he couldn't bear her presence near him? Why was she trying so hard to smile while looking at them? Why could I feel her braking up second after second?

I didn’t like that feeling, the idea that she was in pain and I couldn’t do anything. What was all that?

Without realizing it, I have arrived at Emily’s. From the laughs and the scents, I can easily say that everyone is here but there is only one person I want to talk to.

The desire to know is so strong and makes me so angry that in a rush I get out of the car, lock it and jog towards the sliding glass door.

"Hey, Seth! I hoped you would bring Cordelia here", Rachel greets me with a smile.

“Cordelia was too tired”, I lie, without even looking at her. My eyes wander through the big open space, angrily staring at everyone while searching for the only one person I want to talk to and who has to give me some explanation.

“What’s wrong?” Leah’s hand plans firmly on one of my shoulders before I can rush in the backyard where I can hear Embry’s and Niki’s voices.

“Nothing.”

Now everyone is staring at me, concerned. Usually, I am the easygoing one, always smiling and saying stupid things to light up the mood. Not this evening though. I cannot stop thinking about Cordelia's sad expression when she saw Embry and his father going away. She lowered her eyes and her shoulders like she was finally giving up on something she was hoping to get.

_What did they do to her? What did those two do to my Coco?_

The idea of them hurting her is making me lose my mind.

Leah seems to understand how upset I am and now both her hands are on my shoulders.

“Why don’t you take a sit, little brother?” she asks, leading me to the turquoise couch near the fireplace. I sit down, trying to breathe as slowly as possible because I am shaking too much. I can sense each wolf near his imprint, ready to protect them in case I phase. The air in the entire room is tense, and it becomes even tenser when Niki and Embry come inside.

"Hey, Seth!" Embry cheerfully greets me, acting like the little grocery-shop show never happened.

I slowly turn my head towards him, and I furiously stare at him. I growl and almost snarl and immediately Leah’s hands come back to my shoulders. 

“Hey Seth, what happened?” This time is Niki speaking, her squeaky voice getting more on my nerves.

I bite my lips, hard, until I feel a slight pain and I clench my fists on my thighs. This increasing rage is new to me, I have never felt something like this before and it's starting to scare me.

_Is this one of the imprinting’s consequences? Will I always lose control if I sense her in danger or pain?_

The mere idea to lose control in front of her makes me freeze in fear. No. It cannot happen. It won’t.

“Calm down now, Seth”. Leah whispers in my ear, her soothing voice trying to relax me.

My jaw is still clenched, and the rage is still here, I just can’t calm myself. But suddenly, a pair of caramel eyes appear in front of mine. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and think about the way she was smiling when I accepted to watch her favourite tv series with her.

I immediately feel better and all that rage slowly goes out of my body. My muscles relax and I can think rationally again.

“I am sorry, I don’t know what happened”. I say to all the people in the room.

Sam comes near me and sits on the couch, Leah still behind me, she never moved noteven for a second.

“What happened?” Sam asks, straight. 

“I would like to know too”, I reply, looking at Embry. He is again looking at his shoes and not pronouncing a word.

A chair moves and I hear light footsteps approaching me.

“What do you know?” a worried Rachel asks me, kneeling near me and gently caressing my knees.

“Nothing, Rach. I couldn’t figure it out.”

“Maybe it was for the best. Time will tell you”. She says, putting two fingers under my chin and raising my head.

“For now, enjoy it and don’t think about anything else.”

She is speaking like she knows exactly what I want to know. Rachel knows what Mr Call and Embry did to Cordelia. I want to know too, for her sake’s, for mine too.

Rachel stands back up and caresses my cheeks, but before she comes back to Paul, I see her glancing at Embry, whose face is painted with guilt and another feeling I cannot recognize.

_Maybe he was Cordelia’s boyfriend? Did he break her heart?_

Impossible. A part of me knows that this is not what happened. The truth is different, and I won’t rest until I find out what happened to her. In this way, I will do the best I can to not see her so shuttered ever again.

Lost in a mental argument between me and myself about what could have happened to my Cordelia, I do not hear the glass door opening and closing again. Embry’s and Niki’s scents disappear from the house and everyone except me cannot understand what is happening, why have they left in complete silence. _Correction_ , everyone except me and _Rachel,_ apparently.

“Dinner is ready, guys”, Emily says, trying to cheer up the atmosphere and succeeding in it, because everyone starts acting like nothing ever happened. I have always liked this about the pack: once you cross that glass sliding door you fell in another world, in a safe place where your mind can rest and your body too. We have been through a lot of horrible things and the only way we have to don't go bananas and have multiple mental breakdowns is to easily forget about someone’s acts of wrath. Everyone has them at least once a day, and by now we are all proficient in acting like everything is fine and the world is not slowly collapsing on our board shoulders.

***

I have spent the rest of the evening thinking about her, longing to hear her voice again, to stand next to her one more time. I have missed her all night. I have had this pain in my stomach that didn’t make me sleep at all.

Lying on my king-sized bed all I can think about is how much I would love to have her here, in my arms; how much I’d like to rest my chin on her head, caressing her hips and intertwine our legs.

It would be so beautiful; my soul could finally rest; my wolf could find the peace he had been missing for all these years and I could finally fill that enormous void in my chest I thought no one would ever share.

My wolf deserves it.

_I deserve it._

_I deserve to be happy with her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time I write in Seth’s POV, I am always afraid to go out of character. But then I realize that in the books he is really young and that we cannot know how he will grow up and act at 19 y. o. – the same age he is in this story.   
> Anyways, this is the Seth I imagined while reading the books and I hope you like his characterization too.
> 
> I really hope you liked the chapter; the first part was so fun to write down! I also loved the interactions between Seth and Leah: their relationship deserves more space, and I will try to give it to them in the entire story.
> 
> As always, let me know your opinion about everything and tell me if you find grammatical mistakes, I will immediately correct them. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this and still be here. 
> 
> Wish you all the best,   
> Ipswich


	8. SEVEN

### SEVEN

I haven't slept all night, completely overwhelmed by the pace and the interior harmony Seth's presence made me feel for the entire day. Even after he went away, I couldn't stop feeling extremely light-hearted, like the "accident" with my father didn't even happen. I almost forgot it, too focused on talking to Seth about our favourite tv series. The entire afternoon passed so quickly, maybe _too_ quickly, and when he told me he had to go home because of work… well, I was tempted to ask him to see each other again soon. But then I didn't.

I barely know him, and I was about to ask him to stay with me another afternoon?

_ What the hell is wrong with me? What if he is a serial killer? _

_ Well, then I'd really like to be... _

_ NO. NO. _

The persistent ringing of my home phone is perforating my ears, but I'd rather be deaf than getting up from my cosy sheets. Even though it's morning, I was about to finally fall asleep when it started ringing, and whoever is calling, really wants to speak to me. After minutes that seem more like hours, it finally stops. I toss and turn in my bed, trying to relax, closing my eyes and breathing slowly. At the same moment I feel half asleep, the phone starts ringing again, but this time the ringing is louder and nearer. It's not the home phone, it's my cell phone.

I growl, totally annoyed. All I want to do now is sleeping, only sleeping, not talking to anyone.

_ Except for Seth. I'd love to talk to him again. _

I puff and huff while taking my phone from the nightstand next to my bed. I look at the screen and I see the smiley and wrinkled face of Uncle Billy.

_ He disappears for days and now calls early in the morning? Balance, Uncle Billy, balance. _

I finally decide to answer, knowing that he will get furious If I don't, and will come here immediately, shutting down the door with his wheelchair.

"Uncle Billy", I greet him with a sleepy voice.

"Cordelia Black", he replies, bothered "are we already losing control here, without your mom around?" he continues.

I roll my eyes; this is so typical of him, I remember him being extremely strict as a parent, especially with Jake, less with Rach and Rebecca.

"For your information, school is not started yet and I didn't sleep last night". I assure him, yawing too many times.

"Of course, you didn't sleep, with all that junk food you ate with Seth, yesterday. That's how you're spending your money, kiddo? Remember that your mom is paying for you".

I immediately sit up on the bed, focusing only on the first sentence. A wide smile appearing on my face while I try to move the long black hair fallen over my eyes and mouth.

"Wait, Seth told you he was here?" I ask him, with too much excitement, that my uncle does not seem to like. I can clearly hear him snorting.

"Yes. And for your information, you are NOT allowed to bring boys over. Not even boys I know very well, especially when you're alone!"

_ Oh-oh _ .

My excitement slowly turns into shame and I feel my cheeks warmer.

"We just watched a movie, Uncle Billy", I bubble with a guilty voice, lowering my head and looking at my thick thighs one over the other.

"I know that you two just watched a movie, _Coco_."

The way he pronounces that nickname makes me thinks that he knows, and he will surely use it in the future to torment and tease me. If it is possible, my cheeks are even warmer than before.

_ Did Seth tell anyone we were together? Did he call me Coco in front of everyone? _

_ For all the Gods, please, no. _

I cover my face with my free hand, embarrassed by the fact that my uncle knows that I have spent time alone with a boy, in my own house, without supervision and that the same boy started using this strange nickname that I seem to like just because _he_ came up with it.

_ Not that something could have happened during that afternoon… _

_ I wish. _

"Just for your information, I know everything that happens in this Reservation. _Everything_ , Cordelia. There is and there won't be anything that I won't know", this time he is talking about something else, I can feel it because of the paternal and worried tone he uses.

Maybe that's why he has not killed me already for being alone with a boy.

"Anyway, you have 15 minutes to get ready. We're going to have a family lunch at the Rez's diner. Paul is going to pick you up. Don't be late". He does not leave me the time to answer and he hangs up.

I stay for a few second with the phone near my hear. "Why does he always hang up so quickly?!" I ask myself while getting out of the bed and going to light off all of my candles. I quickly go to the bathroom to take one of my hot baths. Considering that I don't have time to sleep, at least I can try to relax with some scented salts and very expensive bath bombs.

I slowly undress, let my satin shorts fall to the ground together with the tank top. One foot at the time, I get in the tub and I savour the contact of the hot water with my bare skin. I have always loved to dive in the water, whatever type of water: sea, ocean, lake, river, bath water. I just adore the delicate sound our body creates when it moves in it, the lightness in which my mind falls when I completely soak myself and go underwater. I love the silence that comes with it. Every time I dive underwater holding my breath, I feel at peace. It's like closing myself in a happy bubble. This happens especially when I am at the sea and I can swim for hours and hours and forget how much my life is insane.

* * *

I hear someone insistently honking outside my house and it's not difficult to understand that it's Paul. That boy is so aggressively intense and impulsive… but _I can see why_ Rachel is engaged to him, although he is way younger than her. _Rachel has taste, I have to admit._

He surely does not lack abs and muscles, like all the guys I met at the party. _Like Seth._

Another honk distracts me from thinking about the boy again like I did all night. I hurry up, trying to put on my red lipstick while running to the front door, picking the house keys and going outside.

"Hey, Paul", I greet him sitting in the passenger seat and smiling at him.

He looks at me raising his eyebrows and giving me an evil smirk. "Good Morning, Cordelia…Or should I call you _Coco_?"

The way he pronounces the nickname makes me thinks that he knows too as Billy knew. I froze while he starts driving again.

"I am sorry?" I ask nonchalantly, blinking too many times and not looking in his eyes – which I can feel all over me.

"How was your night, _Coco_?" Paul keeps teasing me, making my face go wild red. I am instantly attracted to the tree line outside the window. My embarrassment grows and grows until Paul finally laughs out loud.

"I'm gonna stop here… but just because you're new."

"Why am I finding it hard to believe it?" I ask him while blushing more intensely and sliding down into the seat.

"Cause you're a smart girl… _Coco_ ". He replies still laughing out loud.

Although I find extremely cute the fact that Seth has told someone else about our little afternoon together, I am not really used to this lack of privacy nor from my own uncle or a complete stranger, as my cousins' fiancé is. Something tells me that this won't be the last time someone will use this nickname with me today.

_ And I am going to kill anyone who uses it, except for **him**. _

The drive to the diner is not long, all it takes is 10 minutes. The Rez's diner is a classic one gone out directly from the '50s and it does not seem to have changed since its opening. Paul and I quickly get out of the car, heading to the entrance door. I still cannot look at him and feel a little embarrassed. I think he notices it and laughs again, this time not so loudly. He kindly opens the diner's door for me and, as we enter, a familiar smell hits me. I stop for a second while Paul keeps walking towards our table. This smell is so familiar, I almost recognize it from one of my memories, but I cannot remember which one in particular. It reminds me of Sundays' mornings, of nights spent looking through the open window trying to catch a shooting star, of tender caresses on my hair and light kisses on my forehead. My mind is trying to search for a particular image through my memories but it's all in vain.

"Hey, Cordelia!" I hear Jake calling me from the table, moving his arms to make me notice him. I blink a couple of times to get back to reality and I quickly jog to the table where Billy, Rachel, Jake, Collin and Paul were waiting for me.

"Everything ok?" Rachel asks making room for me on one of the red booths.

"Yes… Yes, everything is ok", I reply smiling, the Deja-vu sensation still lingering in my mind.

"So, welcome to the Rez's Diner. It's not much but the food it's delicious." Says Jake, too much enthusiastic, while looking at the small menu. There is really limited choice, many local dishes and burgers and fries, of course, nothing slightly vegetarian or vegan and nothing healthy either.

_ As if it was a problem for someone like you, who does not even know what a salad is. _

After ordering my favourite dish in the entire world, chicken and waffle with maple syrup, and already tasting it in my mind, I find out – rising my head from the menu – that everyone at the table is looking at me, someone with a smirk, someone with a smile and someone with an annoyed expression.

"What's going on?" I ask, already knowing what everyone wants to know.

"How was your afternoon, yesterday, ah?" Rachel asks while putting an arm around my shoulders and bringing me closer to her.

I click my tongue and roll my eyes.

"Can we please avoid the topic? I already know you know and it's embarrassing". I say, trying to end the conversation with one sentence. The problem is… Jacob and Collin don't want to end it so quickly.

"Well, it took you only one week to bring a boy to your house, unsupervised. You, nasty cousin!" says one of them, while the other started laughing out loud.

"Even I wasn't that good before Rachel", agrees Paul while sipping his coffee.

I bite my bottom lip in response, closing my eyes ad taking a deep breath. The problem is not really the fact that they are teasing me, I could easily joke along in another situation but is mainly that my uncle Billy, _my_ _mother's brother_ , who is supposed to be _my guardian_ while she is still in New York, is here and he is hearing everything and looking at me like he would like to kill me.

"Seth and I just watched a movie, which I didn't even like. Ugh… Start Wars is a nono for me". I reply huffing from the exasperation.

"For all the Gods, did he forced you to watch that awful movie?" Paul asks. He can barely finish the sentence that Collin hits him under the table, kicking his leg I assume.

"Ouch! What the hell dude?!"

"It's not an awful movie and also it's an entire saga, you uncultured swine". Collin replies, glaring at the poor Paul.

Jacob, Billy and Rachel cover their faces with one hand, shaking their heads in disapproval. All at the same time.

_ Basically, all Black's act the same. I could visualize my mom doing the exacts same movements whenever I say something stupid. _

"Not again, please", says an exasperated Jake.

"Anyway… No guys at home when no adult is there. Clear, Cordelia?" Billy ads, ending the geek conversation and pointing two fingers at his eyes and then at me, miming a 'I'll keep an eye on you'.

"Now, talking about serious things. Did you already go to the tribal school for signing all the papers?" Rach asks while eating her chocolate chips pancakes.

_ How can someone eat chocolate chips pancakes? Ehw. _

"Erm, not actually. I was planning to go there tomorrow, and I still need my guardian with me because I cannot sign them by myself. You know, enough mature to drive but not enough to sign my own papers". I say with sarcasm, biting into my chicken and waffle.

"America, right?" Jake replies, making a silly face.

"Well, I think I may be free tomorrow morning. But we still need someone to drive us. You don't have a car, right?" says Billy.

Suddenly, all the other people at the table look at each other almost scared, and then start looking everywhere but at us. Even the old posters hanging on the Diner's wall are more attractive than the conversation that is going on.

"Seriously? And you define yourself family?" Billy's voice becomes more and more irritated.

"From what I know Seth should be free from Uni", says Collin in a scared voice, clearing his throat.

"Yeah, Seth will _definitely_ be free tomorrow!". Rachel adds, smirking at me and immediately lowering her head when Billy gives her a frightening look, not before sticking her tongue out to me in a joking way.

I shake my head, smiling. How can they be so chaotic and funny, I cannot say, but I'm glad they are like this.

This is exactly what I wanted when I was in New York. Lunch all together, stupid jokes, teasing sentences, Billy frightening everyone and giving orders for everything, Rachel being the funny older sister I never had.

Family.

All I wanted; all I dreamed of in these long years away was this.

_ Feeling at home. _

At that time though, little did I know that someone else was going to make this feeling even stronger; someone who is still completely obsessed with that horrible and never-ending saga and is still forcing me to watch those movies we never finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, long time no see!
> 
> I completely disappeared because my job is taking all the life out of me and I have less and less time to write.   
> Moreover, like it always happened when I was a teenager and I used to write fanfictions on Italian websites... I started having other ideas for other fanfictions, and it was extremely tough for me to focus and keep writing this. 
> 
> But I promised myself I would finish this story and so it will be!
> 
> I know this is really a boring chapter, but I need it to start focusing again and not losing my English writing skills (that already suck).
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed it and thank you for sticking with me and this story, I appreciate it and you don't know how much it means to me! 
> 
> Oh, I am starting using again Tumblr, so if you want to follow me my ID is: a-vild-bluemyrtle.
> 
> Have a nice weekend and stay safe.
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> Ipswich


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